I had no idea what was in it beforehand, but Helen Mastersobviously did. She gave me the phone so that I could photograph the pagesand send them to he...." Why not do this in the office before returning to your room? Why takethe ledger with you?" There were far too many pages for that. The longer I was away from ourroom the greater the chance Lucy would wake up and find me gone. No, itwas safer to take it to our room, take photos when I was alone, andreturn the ledger when I was done. That's why. Julie had to explain it to me later(after Allie'd left and Julie came home. Oh... I'm rambling. I guess if I'm gonna document this I should start at the beginning.I returned to the apartment around four. Julie was out. About twenty minutes later the buzzer rang and I opened the door to a tall, thin girl wearing a black raincoat and black boots. She asked for Julie and I told her Julie hadn't gotten home yet, that she was welcome to have a seat and wait for her. One particular thing about her. You make a run for it, but it is less then successful as you are tangled up in your blankets and come crashing to the floor but not in any way that’s going to stop you, you quickly get untangled …almost as quickly as I get back to my feet. I reach for you but you are just barely out of arm’s length. You are now moving pretty quickly as I start to give chase. You randomly smash the glowing wall panel for your alarm, setting off the external alarm. The clock is now ticking.You keep making. When I asked him what was wrong, he turned on me. He demanded to know if I had whored myself to make partner at Jenson, Sharone, and Anderson. I denied it."I looked at his face and my first thought was one of bewilderment. I thought: how can he not believe me? When have I ever lied to him?"And came the epiphany. When have I ever lied to him?"Every day for the past seventeen years. Every day from the day when I came home and did not say that I had fucked Tim Jenson to become a partner. Every day.
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